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The 25-Year-Old Who Knows It’s OK to Change Your Mind

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The 25-Year-Old Who Knows It’s OK to Change Your Mind

BTBz is dedicated to talking about sexual health and self-discovery — and our community’s voices are critical in these conversations. Welcome to the BTBz Column: a weekly reflection by our community members about their own sexual identities. Want to contribute anonymously? Get in touch.

Age: 25, Sex: Female, Location: New York City

What’s your current relationship status? How do you feel about it?

 I’m single. It’s a bit lonely but it's meant to be right now.


 Describe your first kiss in 5 words. 

Fun, awkward, nerve-wracking, silly, quick!  

 How could your sex ed experience been better? 

There could have been more of them! I only had sex-ed classes in middle school and it was more about the anatomy and science, not about actual sex. If I was a sex-ed teacher, I’d want my students to know they could ALWAYS come to me with questions or to ask for advice.


 What does sex positivity mean to you?  

Sex should be fun and you should feel your best when doing it. If it’s not, GTFO of the situation. You are allowed to change your mind!


 What’s one thing you wish you knew about dating or relationships when you first started?  

Have zero expectations! It’s an unpredictable experience.


 You had a first date that didn’t go anywhere: Would you prefer to receive a text letting you down, or would you rather be ghosted? 

OMG this one hits home. Please text me and let me know.


  What do you look for in a partner?   

Attitude, motivation, maturity (but they also need to be able to let loose), social skills, honesty, and comfort.


 How do you express your sexuality and gender identity in your day-to-day life?  

I’m very open to talking about sex and relationships with pretty much anyone I interact with. My gender and sexual journey has been boring and straightforward. I haven't ever questioned any of it.


How do you know when a relationship is right? 

 That constant butterfly feeling and knowing that you would do pretty much anything for the other person.


 How do you focus on your relationship with yourself? 

I go for long walks and I don’t bring my phone.