The 26-Year-Old Who Gets a Confidence Boost from Halloween2 Min Read
BTBz is dedicated to talking about sexual health and self-discovery — and our community’s voices are critical in these conversations. Welcome to the BTBz Column: a weekly reflection by our community members about their own sexual identities. Want to contribute anonymously? Get in touch.
A: 26, S: Female, L: New York City
What do you remember from your high school sex ed class?
Our P.E. teacher brought “Woody” the wooden penis to our class to show us how to put a condom on. I also remember learning about the symptoms of every single STI, but I wish we were taught more about why people have sex and why they want to. (Pleasure!)
What does confidence mean to you?
Feeling your best, believing in yourself, and not worrying about what others think of you. If you’ve never seen the movie “I Feel Pretty” starring Amy Schumer, it’s a good reminder about how far confidence can get you. When you truly believe in yourself, others will too.
What’s one thing you wish you knew about dating or relationships when you first started?
Go into it asking if the other person will fit your bill, not if you’ll fit their bill.
You had a first date that didn’t go anywhere: Would you prefer to receive a text letting you down, or would you rather be ghosted?
Text! It shows maturity and would be less awkward if you were to ever cross paths again (for both parties).
What do you look for in a partner?
A great human being — someone who people describe as “the best.” Included in this description hopefully suggests he is smart, ambitious, kind, funny, outgoing, and athletic. (Being tall or Ivy League-educated doesn’t really matter — that’s gravy.) Humor, a quick wit, and a kind heart are pretty key for me.
How do you feel about sex on the first date?
If it feels right, why not? Just use protection and make sure you won’t regret it the next day. If you feel like you’ll regret it, then keep the other person wanting more!
How do you focus on your relationship with yourself?
I make time for myself, I meditate, and I touch base with friends and family when I seek advice — especially my family when I am focused on personal issues.
Describe your first kiss in 5 words.
Better late than never!
What is your best breakup advice?
“One day, a new person will come into your life, and you’ll stop caring about… what’s their name?”
When do you feel your sexiest?
When my Halloween costume gets delivered and it fits like a glove when I try it on.